``No, Mommy, I haven't any idea where Dolly is.'' ``No, Mommy, Dad must be in Sally's room.'' ``I dreamed I was a doughnut, and this snake...'' ``Mommy, I want to sleep ALONE tonight!'' ``Mommy! Omar the Tent-Maker is back!!'' ``Please, Mommy -- can I sleep without Barfy tonight? '' ``Did you say, 'Strangled with his own brassiere...?' '' ``I don't want to give the dog my bone.'' ``Wanna play Dutch oven with me?'' ``I'd rather you and the dog slept somewhere else tonight, Mommy ...'' ``I Just couldn't wait Mom!!'' ``I think I need new sheets, Mommy...'' ``Mommy, Barfy chewed up my ball while I was asleep!'' ``Mom, when you gonna clean these sheets. They are sticky.'' ``Gee, mom--tonight, my crotch smells worse than yours!'' ``I thought I'd rub the Vicks Vap-o-Rub somewhere else tonight.'' ``Smell this fart mom, its a cool one'' ``Thank's mother! It's realy big now!'' ``Buffy too!'' ``Mommy, promise not to scream so loud tonight!'' ``Don't worry mom, it was only a wet dream about Cindy Crawford...'' ``AAAAARGH! No bullshit? So Jesus was a JEW???????'' ``Dolly, come on out here. Mom wants to talk to you.'' ``Can YOU give me a good night kiss instead of Barfy?'' ``No mommy, I don't want to play the enema game tonight!!'' ``But mom...Daddy said I could stay up late tonight if I played with his magic puppet.'' ``Sure, I'll show it to you... for a dollar.'' ``Mommy, my thingy is all swollen, will you kiss it and make it all better?'' ``Oh mom, can't I play with myself for a little longer...'' ``Aw, it's not fair - Rover always gets to go on top ...'' ``Mommy, can I sleep with you and Daddy and the neighbors tonight?'' ``It won't really fall off now, will it?'' ``I know this is Arfy's bed; but when do I get one?'' ``Mommyy'' ``Do you and Daddy always use condoms?'' ``Please don't make me put it in Barfy's mouth again..'' ``He bit it off! He bit it off!'' ``Daddy looked at me just like that when he peeked earlier!'' ``And what were YOU looking at?'' ``See Mommy, Willy wants Barney in bed with us!'' ``Mommy, I think I'm biphallic.'' ``mom,please I was choking my johnson'' ``OH NO! I knew I shouldn't sleep with Lorena Bobitt'' ``I promise, none of my clothes are on wire hangers.....'' ``Taking "Little Joe" out for a breather... wanna watch?'' ``But, Mom, you just told me to put my pyjamas ON!'' ``...and it smells like burnt cheese, too!!'' ``we're not making videos again are we?'' ``Mommy, I just had the wierdest dream !'' ``Mommy, can I name my crabs?'' ``Are you sure the dog has been fed, mom?'' ``Well, can I just do it until I need glasses?'' ``But you and Daddy do it! Why can't Dolly and I?'' ``Mom, can I stay up and watch you and the dog do it tonight?'' ``Mommy, can I learn to write HTML when I grow up?'' ``But mom! I can't get it up anymore.'' ``Mommy, I'm all BIG down there!!'' ``All that she wants is another baby.. She's gone tomorrow...'' ``Do I _have_ to sleep on the wet spot?'' ``I had a wet dream, mommy, and you featured prominantly'' ``I was just going to introduce the dog to... um, a friend of mine...'' ``Daddy calls it a cock ring!'' ``I used my own cum to get my hair to stick out like this'' ``So you're sure, that you're not an alien from outer space?'' ``I shouldn't have used Ben Gay as a lubricant, Mommy.'' ``Yes Mom... I was pitching a tent!'' ``Mom, what the FUCK is that dog staring at?'' ``You're right, Dolly is better than P.J.'' ``But I DID see a one-eyed monster looking at me.'' ``Something's wrong with my pee-pee. It's hard!'' ``All right. I admit I fathered those pups...but I'd like to see you prove it in court.'' ``Aw, mom, Rags always gets me all stretched out!'' ``I thought it was your nose that grew when you told a lie!'' ``Well, Mom, I was just wankin' like usual and IT FELL OFF!'' ``Thanks, Mom!'' ``If you want the lawn mowed tomorrow, I think you should tell it to the judge!'' ``Are you positive you filled Barfy's water dish because he sure gets thirsty at night.'' ``Maman, toi qui parlait de petite graine ! Elle etait aussi grosse pour moi ?'' ``And you PROMISE that if I do that to Arfy we'll get to make puppies?!'' ``But Dad said the scabs wouldn't scar'' ``Not tonight mommy!!! I like it better with Daddy.'' ``Not tonight mommy!!! I have a test tomorrow.'' ``Mommy, don't make the dog suck me tonight!'' ``Guess what? I can play ``doctor'' all by myself!'' ``Mommy, Mommy! I dreamt I was in a NORMAL family. Just hold me, please..'' ``Is Barfy ever going to give it back? I think a testicle unraveled out of the hole last night!'' ``COULD YOU TWO KEEP IT DOI'' ``Help'' ``Mommy, are you sure there's no such thing as ZIPPY the pinhead?'' ``Well lookie here... the bitch and her dog are back!'' ``Moaning? Uh, I'm feeling sick, that's it.'' ``Geez mom, you look real lopsided since the mastectomy!'' ``And after I do you, I'll do the dog!'' ``Look Mom, I pitched a tent!'' ``Is it supposed to turn black like that?'' ``uhhh.. no, Mom. What makes you think I shit the bed again?'' ``I can't pull the sheet down, Mr. Bonkers doesn't like the light.'' ``Can I have daddy do it tonight. He doesn't spit it out. He swallows.'' ``But Mommy.. my knees ARE down!'' ``Mommy, can you tell me the story of Mary and the Jello Salesman again?'' ``I was dreaming about Solaris. Was I screaming?'' ``Gee, mommy, Barfy and me was just playin' "lick the weiner'' ``Mommy, the babysitter taught me a new game tonight!'' ``Daddy always puts whipped cream on it first.'' ``Mommy, could you and daddy play with the funny buzzing thing in your room tonight?'' ``Hey mommy, I think I need to borrow a couple of paper towels here.'' ``Mr. Squirt wants to know if he can do it on your tits again tonight.'' ``Yo, mom, stick your head under here and take a wiff of this fart!'' ``Mommy, All the girls were naked and it scared me bad!'' ``Get that damn dog out of here! He's got fleas!'' ``Mom, it's not my knees that are sticking up!'' ``Mom, whats this white stuff on my pee pee.'' ``Mom, is this a "Throbbing member".'' ``But Dolly dog to sleep with the dog last night. Its MY turn!'' ``I think I just had an organism!'' ``No!, anything but Mr. Dog!'' ``I wish PJ would finish down there, I want to go to bed.'' ``But Mommy, there is room for you AND Barfy with Dolly under here!'' ``Suck my dick Bitch, and make it Puke!'' ``Are you sure that dog understand American Sign Language (ASL)?'' ``I beat Daddy at 'Spank the Monkey' today. Wanna see how?'' ``Cartoons like Family Circus suck.'' ``Mommy!! I have a headache- can't you and Barfy do it JUST ONCE?? Can I watch?'' ``Umm...What makes you think PJ's under the covers, mommy?'' ``OK'' ``Ok Ok, but PLEASE make Daddy put away the camera!'' ``You too mommy?, Daddy was already here once tonight'' ``Uh...Tape and the family gerbil? No, I haven't seen them'' ``No, of course I'm not wearing your underwear!'' ``It's all swelled up Mommy. Kiss it and make it better?'' ``But Mom, you told me to do whatever the babysitter said!!'' ``Dad says if he was hung like this, that damned pink bunny wouldn't have to keep going, and going, and going...'' ``Then Dolly came in wanting to play the Bobbits'' ``I have a woody!'' ``I have the feeling someone is looking at us through a porthole.'' ``Why does my be ge wet and sticky when you take your clothes off every night??'' ``Mommy, can I rub the Vick's on YOUR chest tonight?'' ``This sure will be sore in the morning....'' ``Mom, I swear it was here a few minutes ago!'' ``Can you make that one-eyed monster throw-up again?'' ``No, mommy, I don't feel like fucking you again. I'm tired!'' ``I'll put sis' to bed as soon as I am done'' ``Is this what a boner looks like, mommy?'' ``Mommy Mommy! Look! I have tits now. And they're fucking huge!'' ``Can you not put so many fingers in my ass this time? The den leader is calling me loose now'' ``The dog did it... honest Mom.'' ``woof woof... Now if I rolled in my own, they'd beat the rest of it out of me.'' ``Hey Mom, little help...'' ``Mom, Take off your clothes and bend over you ugly bitch.'' ``Who put the tapioca pudding in my sheets?'' ``But mommy this is the first time I've gone to bed without dad!'' ``Mom, I promise not to tell dad about you getting up the behind from the dog.'' ``Sure you can nurse me as long as you keep checking for "accidents".'' ``How big is this thing going to get under here ?'' ``Yes, mommy, it was PJ's bone that I was choking on.'' ``There's something growing under here!'' ``Holy shit mom, can't a guy whack off in peace?'' ``What makes you think that I WANT to sit on your face?'' ``Have you ever thought of trying a 'Venus Butterfly'?'' ``OK, but this time let Barfy lick my ass at the same time, that REALLY tickles!'' ``Again??'' ``You got here just in time, my wee-wee is bleeding. But I thought blood was red...'' ``Owww! I said Vaseline not gasoline, bitch!'' ``I said, "REDRUM REDRUM", bitch!'' ``Mommy I dreamt there were these aliens, who look just like dogs except they had these blank eyed stares...uh oh'' ``Does the Tooth Fairy really use pliers?'' ``But mom, Dolly ins't here to help!'' ``After I fuck the dog, you're next bitch!!'' ``Could you ask Daddy to use some Vasiline next time?'' ``Before I go to sleep, can you play me that video again? The place where she goes ``Oh, yes!'' like this!'' ``Mommy, should we change his name to 'BJ'?'' ``But, Mommy! You said it was OK for Gina to stay the night!'' ``But mommy, Mr. Peter won't stand up anymore, he's tired!'' ``But Mommy, Why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot ?'' ``But just 2 fresh D batteries would get me off'' ``Before you send in my next trick, can I have a glass of water?'' ``Gosh, Mom, you much give better head than Barfy does!'' ``The damn dog ate my liver.'' ``Can I come up for air this time?'' ``Mom, if you sit on my face, will I have Et a pus? (Oedipus)'' ``Mom, tell Dolly to get out of my sheets'' ``But I don't wanna sex change when I grow up!'' ``Look mom! I've got morning wood!'' ``I sayd NO mom, you can't suck dad's cum from my asshole!!'' ``Mommy, can we play "hide the noodle" again tomorrow?'' ``That was fun! But now the sheet has a big wet spot on it'' ``Dolly's busy right now, can you come back later?'' ``I want you to do it mom. Barfy bites it.'' ``Can you help me, mom. I jerked it right off!'' ``But I don`t wanna feed the dog my bone!!'' ``Cool drag, Dad!!'' ``Mommy, how about if tonight you sleep with Daddy and I'll sleep with Dolly?'' ``I don't wanna wait until I grow up! I wanna get it pierced NOW!!'' ``Mommy, I've really gotta go get rid of that enema. Could you please take the butt plug out now?'' ``But..But Mommy! Your sister takes it in the butt!!!'' ``Mom, are you sure it'll get bigger\x3F'' ``Mommy, why were you moaning? and why is there peanut butter on the dog's nose?'' ``No not again mom, can't you sleep with dad tonight'' ``I thought I could hold a two quart enema all night mommy!'' ``But Rover can lick his...'' ``Mom, look what iI have got here... its bigger than dads...'' ``But there's a big finger under the covers pointing at _me_!'' ``No, Mommy. I asked you to TUCK me in bed!'' ``Well Mom, it ain't big around, but its short.'' ``Mommy! I can't play 'circus tent' with you watching!'' ``Why can't Dolly sleep under my covers?'' ``Mom, all i wanted to do was eat Barfy's hotdog'' ``Mom I can't think of any funny caption, I just want to pork the dog'' ``but mom, i have to coverit... my dick get's hard when the wind blows'' ``Barfy won't eat *my* bone, will he?'' ``I won't let you continue with this pedophilia obsession you have. I am calling Charter.'' ``But Mom, you know I like it better with the lights on!'' ``I think I found Daddy's dentures!'' ``No, I wasn't masturbating. I don't know why it's so large.'' ``Wow! That is a new record. Ten times in a row.'' ``Ooooooohhhhhh God I'm coming!!! I'm coming!! Ohhh yeeessss.'' ``Could you get me a Mickey's from the fridge? I'm parched.'' ``Mommy, I don't understand. You and Dad fuck like animals and your hair still stays in that indefatigable bun.'' ``Mommy, I think Fido bit off my ding-dong!'' ``It's my penis, I can do what I want with it.'' ``Night Mom" (this noninsinuating caption by jut)'' ``Mom is this thing loaded?'' ``But Mum, the dog enjoys it!'' ``I always thought you were responsible for the birth control!'' ``I'm sorry I hit Dolly, Mommy. But she wouldn't swallow.'' ``Would you blow me, Mommy? Dolly doesn't do it right.'' ``Mommy, is it okay if Barfy licks my penis?'' ``Mommy, could you tell me if I'm doing this right?'' ``Is it supposed to be this soft?'' ``hey mom, how 'bout you, me AND the dog!'' ``Mommy, can I play with the dog tonight??'' ``Mommy! Daddy touched me in my bathing suit area again!'' ``Mommy, you sure do look a lot like Lorena Bobbitt.'' ``But Mommy! I read it for the articles!'' ``Ruff told me not to tell you i sat on his tail.'' ``His name is Steve. He wanted to stay over tonight...'' ``It just won't go down - I think it wants to be emptied again.'' ``I swear it was barfy who peed in the bed'' ``Mommy, are you okay? I heard you screaming and moaning.'' ``why do you call it my Mr. Terrible mom?'' ``Actually, instead of water, I'll take a gin and tonic please.'' ``Do you think doggie would like to play Lick the Ice Cream?'' ``Look mommy i'm pitchin a tent'' ``One at a time or both at once?'' ``I was just playing 'pup tent'...'' ``Mommy, Mr. Happy just got sick all over...'' ``Mommy look. i can suck my own dick.'' ``Help me mommy there's cum in my eyes.'' ``Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia!'' ``Mommy, why does my thingy grow when I touch it?'' ``ANYONE WHO READS THIS TRASH IS A PERVERTED SLIME WHO GETS THE IR J'' ``JOLLIES OFF OF A STUPID CARTOON CAUSE' YOU CANT AT HOME'' ``Mom, look. It's green and it burns really bad.'' ``Mommy, when you learn to read, maybe YOU could read ME a story!'' ``No, honest, mommy, there's no sticky stuff'' ``Mommy, How come you never wear the red lacy PJ's for me?'' ``This time you and Rex come to bed, could we leave the lights on?'' ``But it's Tuesday! Incest night is Fridays!'' ``One at a time, please!'' ``Mommy, can you show me what to do with morning wood again?'' ``That's not mine -- that's Barfy's. I think.'' ``but when the dog licks himself down there is doesn't squirt'' ``It's just a flashlight, mom, honest!'' ``Mom, tell the dog its not a real bone'' ``I hate getting into bed after you and daddy use it'' ``Look Mommy, I can do it with out my hands.'' ``Thanks for tucking me in Mom......'' ``Daddy said you use to have one too!'' ``not the dog again, Mommy'' ``If spot can lick his balls, why can't I?'' ``can rufus lick my weiner again tonight mommy?'' ``Isn't it Polly's turn tonight? I'm still recovering'' ``Mommy? Can I eat your pussy again? Please?'' ``Mommy, how come none of the kids at school have a "Mr. Long Stroke" doggie toy?'' ``But Daddy said it was MY turn with the dog tonight.'' ``Mommy, can you help me put this little baloon on before I play with doggie?'' ``You call THAT molestation?'' ``It's got to be your fault mommy. It happens to ever guy once in awhile.'' ``Mommy, I'm pee=peeing glue again.'' ``No, I DON'T think circumcision is a good idea.'' ``But I can't get out of bed, Mommy; I have a morning erection!'' ``Mama, I was just thinking of you, and this happened.'' ``Mommy, can you get me a Kleenex?'' ``I don't know how she got under there Mommy!'' ``Mommy, do you want to see what Aunt Lorena did?'' ``hey mom look... that poot left this greasy spot on the sheet'' ``...what? I wasn't doing anything! And who trained the dog to sniff out spooj anyway?'' ``...what? I wasn't doing anything! And, who trained the dog to sniff out spooj anyway?'' ``Barfy's not just humping my leg anymore.'' ``C'mon baby, light my fire!'' ``I barely touched it, and look what it did!'' ``Mommy, I just shot my wad all over the sheets...'' ``Why does poop smell so bad?'' ``Here I go again!'' ``what the hell is that thing coming out of the dog's head?'' ``Gee, we won't need a tent pole next time we go camping!'' ``What do you mean rover's really my daddy?'' ``There's plenty of room under here for you babe.'' ``I'm not ready yet, give me some time!'' ``No, Mommy! You said *I* get the dog and *you*'' ``Mommy, come make me warm!'' ``Mommy, my sex education teacher said I WOULDN'T go blind.'' ``Mom Look!. I have a woody.'' ``Mommy, the beds all wet...'' ``Watch mommy. When I pull my hands away, the sheet floats!'' ``Mom, tell the dog to stop looking at me that way!'' ``No, Mommy, I'm old enough to sleep my myself now!'' ``Mommy, I told you to swallow!!'' ``I didn't mean to... when I farted it just came out.'' ``Hey babe hows about makin' ya mouth round?'' ``Mommy! Can we have a threesome with the dog?'' ``Don't look, Mom. I just spilled my Mountain Dew. Honest.'' ``You're just jealous cause you don't have one.'' ``insert your own stupid masturbation joke here'' ``Can dad give back the anal intruder, I think I need it tonight!'' ``Yes mommy, barfy's licked all the chocolate off again...Do you still want to suck out the creamy center?'' ``No Mommy! I don't wanna play fetch under the covers with Rover tonight!'' ``What do you mean I'll go blind?'' ``Mommy, why is Mr. Pickle getting so large when Barfy licks him ?'' ``He can play with the kitty when I'm finished!'' ``Yes Mom it IS bigger than Barfy's, why do you ask?'' ``I got an ouchie there, can you kiss it and make it better? Gramps did last night!!'' ``No way bitch, you pay like the rest!!'' ``But I can't see what I'm doing with the covers pulled up'' ``Has anyone told you just how perfectly Euclidian your head is?'' ``...and then we built this really cool fort and- By the way, I'm not wearing any pants!'' ``Mom, Somebody put mayonaise in my jammies while I was sleeping!'' ``Uh, no Dolly's not under here again'' ``But Mom, I have to open my mouth THIS wide to get Arfy all the way in!'' ``Ok, I'll let you see it if you let me see yours.'' ``Guess What!! I've got a 'water' bed now!!!'' ``I'm scared mum, why were you sucking Rover's dangly thing'' ``Dads finished with my backside, give me a minute and you'll have the front'' ``Mommy? Can Barffy lick up all the white stuff again??'' ``But Daddy just stuck HIS thermometer in me!'' ``Can I just do it until I need glasses?'' ``Mine sure as hell doesn't look like yours Mommy!'' ``Mommy, I love you and I think that you're the best!'' ``what the hell is going on under here'' ``Mommy, why didn't you swallow the stuff like Daddy does???'' ``Mommy, I get a weird feeling when you wear your nightgown.'' ``Mommy, is this what ZZ-Top meant by 'Pearl Necklace'?'' ``I guess you're right, I am a growing boy.'' ``But Mommy, I want to wear jammies to bed, with my door closed tonight!'' ``I can't take any more, Mommy!'' ``Are you sure you are not Jane Jetson?'' ``MOMMY CAN BARF AND ME SLEEP WIF YOU AN DADDY TONIGHT'' ``What do you mean we are out of tissues?'' ``That's disgusting, mom!'' ``NO , I don't wanna let Rover play with me again. Why don't you do it and *I* watch this time'' ``NO , I don't wanna let Rover play with me again. Why don't you do it and *I* watch this time'' ``So what is the difference between a hamster and a gerbil?'' ``Mommy! It's gone!'' ``Mommy, are you sure it's supposed to ooze green liquid like that? What about the chunks?'' ``Mommy, can you tell Dave Ashby to stop sucking my dick'' ``maMommy, don't let the dog rub my leg again!'' ``I like to fart and pull the covers over my head.'' ``Would you blow me, Mommy? Ed is not doing it right.'' ``Mommy, won't you kiss Mr. Winkie goodnight too ?'' ``Look ma, no hands!'' ``Mommy... daddy said that your name was really Lorena!'' ``Thanks, Fido, but Mom's next!'' ``So does this mean I'm a sicko, Mommy?'' ``GOAT YOGURT! BEGONE!'' ``Look Mom, the covers are all white again..even your Tide could not do that!'' ``Mom, tell Dolly to get out from under my covers!'' ``BUT EVERY TIME I CUT IT OFF IT GROWS RIGHT BACK!!!'' ``Why can't you play with me instead, mommy?'' ``Well OK Mommy, but I'm not gonna do the dog this time!'' ``We were just playing fetch.'' ``O.K. mommy we will do it but let barfy suck my dick'' ``mommy i popped a woody'' ``MOMMY ILOVE WHEN YOU TOUCH MY TENT MAKER'' ``WHAT HAPPENS WHEN NAPOLEON CLIMBED MOUNT OLIVE? POPIE GOT PIST'' ``Mommy wanna suck Mr. slurpy'' ``Mommy wanna trim that pussy'' ``Mommy wanna trim that pussy'' ``Mom, I am going blind.'' ``Mom,can you bring be a glass of water, two car sponges, one paint scraper, a trash bag paper napkins, and by baby book.'' ``What? No good night suck?'' ``Mommy! Tell Rover to stop sniffing my butt!'' ``Mom, tell Dottie to stop playing Lorena Bobbit'' ``Mom, why are all these people making sexual captions for our comic strip?'' ``Mom, I knew you were into threesomes and also bestiality, but this is ridiculous!'' ``Mom, does Daddy know about the three of us and if he does would he like to join in?'' `` Thanks for fucking me mom '' ``Do I _have_ to sleep on the goowee spot?'' ``Of course I pissed the bed! I've had a pint of whiskey since supper!'' ``Look at this infection! I told you it wasn't stainless steel!'' ``How do I make it go down\x3F'' ``See, Mommy? Mine is bigger than the dog's!'' ``No, Mommy, I won't tell you where I hid the doggy's bone'' ``Why do you think I'm hiding something from you?'' ``I can't show you my hotdog, mommy. It's in a furry bun now!'' ``mom, my sheets are sticking to me again!!'' ``No mommy...You can't watch me and the dog again!'' ``Mommy, Please don't spit any this time...'' ``It's hard now! Get on it Mom! I suck off Fido while you ride me like a stallion!'' ``Hold on Mommy, Dolly isn't finished yyyeet...O.K.'' ``Can't barfy lick your pussy this time?'' ``No,'' ``No, I've had enough water.'' ``Hey Mom, feel like being a side-to-side buttpeat?'' ``Mommy, Bob Dole is under the bed! And he brought that Newt guy with him!'' ``Well, you can swallow it or spit it out.'' ``No, I don't know where Dolly is.'' ``Next time, don't bite so hard!!'' ``No, Mommy, I don't know where my gerbil is.'' ``Not tonight, Mommy, I have a headache.'' ``I thought Dolly was the one who would start to bleed.'' ``Hey Mom, wanna see why they call him "Barfy"?'' ``It has just dawned on me that to find the current position, you can take the initial position, add it to the initial velocity times the time, and add that to half of the acceleration times time squared!'' ``No mommy! That's not PJ's Head, honest!'' ``Good Heavens! That's four leperous sores this week.'' ``When this happens to Daddy, He calls the ho' down the street to make it all better again.'' ``An extremely deformed dwarf is giving me head'' ``The whole fist? Jeez, I don't know...'' ``Is it supposed to stick up like that!?'' ``Hey mom, why don't you climb in and join dolly down there'' ``I don't care what Barfy says .....I don't swallow...see..ahhhh'' ``Mommy--help its doing those funny tricks, again--pet it and make it better'' ``Mom..pull that strap-on out of the dogs ass and climb in...'' ``Mom, pull that strap-on out of the dog, and get in here...'' ``Hey, the dog got a lick...want one too?'' ``Mom? What does it mean when Mr. Happy spits?'' ``Mommy is Mrs. Bobbit leaving soon?'' ``Hey knuckles...Suck on a box o' nails'' ``I'm all sleepy now!'' ``My god, it's full of stars.'' ``Mommy, does this look inflamed to you?'' ``I'm sure it was there a minute ago!'' ``Can I cum on your tits tonight?'' ``I can't get to sleep, while Mr. Winky is UP!!'' ``AAH! i dreamed about ms. bobbit'' ``I was playing with my action figures.'' ``Um, er.... You heard a "slapping" noise?'' ``Look Mom, my first erection!'' ``But my ass hurts!!!'' ``C'mon in Mommy...and bring the dog too.'' ``Does Barfy have to watch us this time, Mommy?'' ``But Spunky likes to lick me there!'' ``Just get me new sheets, okay'' ``Hey ma, can I suck your tits?'' ``That's okay, Mommy. I think Spot can take care of me tonight.'' ``No, boy! Mommy first!'' ``Mommy, can I learn how to use the washing machine tomorrow?'' ``But daddy said that when it gets bigger it's about to throw up!!'' ``Mommy! hand me a towel, quick!'' ``MOM! I hate it when you bring animals into it!!!!'' ``MOM! I hate it when you bring animals into it!!!!'' ``I think you're going to have to do the Heimlich on the dog'' ``I knew you were into threesomes, but this is ridiculous'' ``But, I thought the dog was in my bed tonight!'' ``Why does my thing get stiff when the dog licks it?'' ``Jesus Christ, mommy, I'm stuck'' ``But mommy, I don't want you to kiss it goo``Mommy, I can't take your dildo AND the dog! I only have one hole, try Dolly's room.'' ``Why am I in your bed? I thought you knew daddy asked me to sleep with him tonight!'' ``No! You'll bite it off, just like last time!'' ``But the dog just isn't my type!'' ``Mommy, I'm not sure I'm ready for this threesome yet.'' ``okay mommy, I'll count to ten. When I say go, you can teach me how to act like daddy!'' ``No Mom its not what you think, I wasn't having sex with the dog!'' ``Gee Mom, now you know why my underwear is sticky in the morning.'' ``C'mon mom, not the dog, too'' ``but mommy i dont like playing hide the salmi'' ``Sorry Mommy, but from now on I'm drinking milk from a GLASS'' ``It's ... uh ... water! Yeah, water!'' ``Look, ma'... I'm not wearing anything underneath!'' ``I don't know, ma'... Why should I be happy dad's out of town'' ``WHY ????!?'' ``I don`t mind three in a bed Mom, but Fido get`s jealous." **Submitted by James Willis**'' ``I didn't think the dog would bite me there.'' ``You sucked it, you wipe it off!'' ``Mom, why does Barfy drool so much?'' ``Take off the robe and show me those tits, babe.'' ``Yoou swallow for Dad, you can swallow for me.'' ``why does it hurt when I touch it?'' ``Nothin'!!'' ``Not the peanut butter game, please!?'' ``I know the dog was sniffing in my room, but I haven't been putting sausage in my s again.'' ``Why do I hafta work night shift all the time?'' ``Are you sure Daddy hasn't been drinking tonight?'' ``Dolly says she's playing 'snorklin'' ``Mommy, I think kitty is stuck!'' ``...and then Grandma came down from the clouds, and she...'' ``Well, Mommy, I just figured out why we named him Barfy.'' ``I would get up, but I'm stuck to the sheet!'' ``Room for one more!'' ``\x3Ci\x3EWhen are you and dad gonna be done "wrestling"\x3F\x3C/i\x3E'' ``?'' ``:)'' ``Gee mom! Beastiality as well!'' ``Jib my badody!'' ``Mommy, how do you spank your monkey again?'' ``No Mommy, my boyfriend says I HAVE to wear my buttplug!'' ``You gotta let Barfy lick the "pole," or I can't play `Pup-tent.'' ``Mommy, will I really go blind?'' ``But I want to wear Dolly's nightie to bed!'' ``If I'm not allowed to call it a Purple-headed Warrior, what should I call it?'' ``I was only scratching an itch! Honest!'' ``Aw, mommy does the dog have to do it with us tonight, too?'' ``Yes mommy, daddy is in here.'' ``So what if it's not natural? Barky's my dog and I love him!!'' ``No mommy; i havent been masterbaitng!'' ``I had a scary dream, where everyone found out we were JEWS!'' ``Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!'' ``I don't understand it, Mommy. All of my Gentile friends have 'em!'' ``But Daddy let's Jeffy lick his!'' ``Mommy, I keep trying to stretch it, but it's spits at me!'' ``If you touch me again I'll sue yo' ass off !'' ``Mommy, how come the dog always gets to sleep with you?'' ``What do ya mean it's bigger than Daddy's!'' ``But Dolly DOES like the taste'' ``Mom? Do you think Satan was listening?'' ``Could you pull that thing off and let barfy lick you tit?'' ``Why no, Mommy. I haven't seen Dolly's head. Why do you ask?'' ``Daddy said I should sleep with a plastic bag over my head, but I put it on Billy's instead.'' ``Mommy, Mommy, Something just came outta my 'rection!'' ``Is rover goign to join?'' ``But what if Barfy WON'T spit it out?'' ``Dolly is not doing it right, will you try?'' ``Your turn Mommy, Dolly's mouth is full and she won't swallow.'' ``Well, I wouldn't say it's 'wet' per se...'' ``Mommy, you mouth isn't big enough, let Bowser try.'' ``Spread some peanut butter on my ass and throw sparky here'' ``but Barfy's having fun!'' ``No, Dolly isn't under the sheet giving me a blow.'' ``Did you know that I'm naked under this sheet.'' ``This time will you take your clothes off.'' ``Hold on mom I'm trying to give myself a blow before you can.'' ``You havta wait for dolly finishes first because you both can't fit my dick into your mouthes.'' ``Mom I made a wet spot on the sheet again. Can you lick it up again?'' ``Gee mom your tits look big.'' ``Why don't you have two tits like Grandma?'' ``Your tits look better without the shirt on.'' ``Is sex what you do to me every night?'' ``Is sex what you do to me every night?'' ``My dick's hard and I can't go to sleep. Can you give me a blow?'' ``Can you get under the sheet with dolly and help her rub my dick'' ``What's that hole called that you make me stick my tongue in?'' ``Yes, that Dolly moaning under my sheet. Do you want to help her?'' ``I had a nightmare that my dissertation was due tomorrow!'' ``But Barfy's is too tight!'' ``What is this...menage a trois avec chien!?'' ``It's just urine, Mom...calm down!'' ``Mom, can I borrow a piece of raw veal?'' ``Is it always gonna stay this small?'' ``I'm having difficulty accepting the eschatological implications of the Book of Job.'' ``No, ma--there's nobody--uh--under the covers with me...'' ``Gee, my penis is shaped like that banana I had for lunch.'' ``I looked at my asshole in the mirror this morning: it blew my fucking mind!!'' ``Hey, I just took a shit in my pants!'' ``Daddy says Dolly's starting to grow some fucking pubes!'' ``I want a sex change operation'' ``I left a doody here last night, and now I can't find the l'il shit.'' ``Do I have to wear this pump at night?'' ``It's not my fault the dos is shitting condoms.'' ``Mommy, Barfy used his teeth! I want a rim job!'' ``Mom? Will you lick my wee-wee again?'' ``I thought the side effects were just a rumor!'' ``Hey mom Barfy will do ANYTHING for a little peanut butter'' ``Look mommy! I can play Whack the Mole at home now!'' ``But mommy! Daddy just left!'' ``Well the beans and mashed potatos MAY have contributed a little'' ``Mommy, it DOES smell kinda good!'' ``You're right Mommy, it DOES tasta kinda salty!'' ``Some stuff came out that smells like mushrooms and Clorox!'' ``Sorry Mommy, I guess it only works TWICE a night.'' ``Do you HAVE to "inspect my willy" again?'' ``You said if I touched you there, I wouldn't have to go to bed.'' ``Mommy I just had a dream about you and I feel wet.''